L a s t S u m m e r;

Monday, November 29, 2004

capricorn angel :)

You are 73% Capricorn

woah! 73%... that was high. :) but i consider myself a true blooded Capricorn, capricornian talaga ako if you know me well.

xx signed off at 12:14 PM

party animal? lol

haha i was in eastwood last night partyin. :) "girls ask guys dance party" of sigma beta sorority was pretty nice and cool... though the crowd was more of outsiders than UPians. but the party was fun coz i'm with the rest of the BRATZ. haha :) the usual girls am with... athena and mae together with one of my barkada criselle. we're a great tandem and we rock the basement! hehe :) well i've been really busy the past months... no gimiks and fun kaya it was nice din i went partyin last night... ngayon nalang ulit eh. diba it was a good exercise as well, hmm how many pounds did i lose? as if am so taba diba? wala i feel like really malaki... anyway, there were only few cuties pero ok lang we're not there naman just for "guys"... we were there to parthay!!! hehe :) grabe i gotta study i have so many homeworks and i really have to read... after some rest nalang. lol.

wow my baby bro won the yonex national open badminton championships.. under 16. :) he was great! he's really great! grabe champion in doubles and 1st runner up in singles... may price money and epson all-in-one pa :) cool! i am so proud of him, even if sometimes it's not obvious... syempre kapatid ko yun mana sakin! hehe :)

waaaaaaa! i remember lovers in paris na naman... am so touch by the story and the characters of the show... grabe whenever i watch it sobrang emotional yung dating ko. haha. i know am such a cry baby and hopelessly romantic but i also feel good whenever i watch it. although sometimes frustrating na kasi the character of "martin" will make you fall head over heels... actually i told myself and my friends "sana dumating na yung "martin" ng buhay ko..." haha. frustrated! whatever... basta i love lovers in paris and it makes me feel good! oh well.

i loooooooooooooovvvveeeee PINK. connection? just a random thought. :)

xx signed off at 11:56 AM

Saturday, November 20, 2004

just wanna be happy

i may not have everything in life but i'm happy with what i have... but there are times that i just feel like wanting more in life, something or someone is missing... but i dont even know what i want, what i really want. i just feel like empty sometimes and it's hard to figure it out. i guess we just have this attitude, wanting to have what we don't have...

wicker park rocks! i love the movie and i can relate to it, another movie that made me cry hard. :) i also love the finale song, i even searched the web for the title and lyrics... actually i'm gonna buy the soundtrack :) hehe.

SCIENTIST -- coldplay

Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Don't speak as loud as my heart.
Tell me you love me, and come back and haunt me,
Oh, when I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
coming back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy.
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start.

anyway, nabaril daw sa paa si Johnson... dahil daw sa babae. i believe people can change... but in his case i know it's hopeless. i thought through leaving him he'll learn his lesson, i even hope that when i come back he's a changed person na... but i guess it will never happen, he'll be the same person i used to know, the same person who hurt me the most.

xx signed off at 5:34 PM

Saturday, November 13, 2004

rants...

it's been a while since i last posted on this blog and a lot of things had happened already... i've had a lot of experiences from the past weeks and it's all worth it afterall, whether good or bad it still brought me something beneficial and taught me things i know i'll not learn in class. i've been really dependent both on my parents and friends but this time around i have proved to myself and to others as well that i can live independently, though there were times that i'm missing them and the way they put things on the right track. the fieldwork in Kalinga became very useful to me not just in academic matter but also in a real life matter, yes it trained me to become independent and it taught me a lot of real life things which helped me grow and become a better person. i'm not saying that i am not self-sufficient before it's just that i think i am not yet mature enough for my age and enough for my future... i've learned to adjust most especially if the environment calls for it, be considerate, be more appreciative, more affectionate, and to make the best out of some worst things. :) i am so glad because i didn't give up on Anthropology, all those chances opened my eyes and took away my bias, judgemental, preconception and all attitude. :) many doesn't know what my course is really all about, they thought it's just all about bones, caves, hominids, tribes and stuff... they just didn't know it's waaay more than that. well of course i am just giving justice to what i am taking up right? but another thing is that i'd like you to be aware of it. in the Bible it says that God created us, and i have nothing against that because i am a true blooded Christian and a believer. but in Science we came from the species of monkeys and they were our ancestors, i am not telling you to believe that because i myself wouldn't want to accept that our great lolo and stuff is a homo erectus or whatever. :) these are few of what my course is about, but basically what we are really interested to is the cultural perspective of the people. their beliefs, rituals, ethics, custom and traditions because it would determine where they came from... where we came from. we are what we believe in and our culture mirrors ourselves. Anthro is a combination of history, sociology and psychology. :) very few are taking up this course because of lack of awareness and also it's more of a passion than a career. most of my classmates were surprised when i pursued this course, they still couldn't believe i learned to love this course, survived the fieldwork and now soon to graduate. :) expect the unexpected right? well i was also challenged by those people and the course itself. being in Anthro is a fulfillment, i am studying and learning for myself and be able to help others at the same time... at least i know i am not just doing this for my own but for the people involve around me as well. :)

hehe just another rants and raves... actually i really have nothing to write about when i was just starting this entry, couldn't find a story to begin with and to tell actually. lol. everything just went on and on as i was typing. well at least it has a sense in a way... Anthropology is one of the important things in my life and one of my character-shaping tools. :) In Anthro, boredom became a quest and a journey... a life-changing for me.

classes has started though still in a sit-back-and-relax stage... we're not yet starting the lecture and all so it's still enjoyable. lol. well i promised to myself (this time no more broken promises...) that i'll be really hardworking and patient this time, for my last semester... hopefully. no more lates and absences as much as possible and studies first before ANYTHING else. i'll remind myself that from time to time to make sure... :) my first week was great and my classes are all good, hopefully. i have some friends narin in some of my classes, sounds like a good start right? anyway, it's our UAAP season already and i am looking forward to February, our schedule of games. i am now also concentrating on the training and really hopeful to bring back my strength, endurance, speed and skills. actually i'd like to beat that and bring out the very best in me... all out na. :) i am now serious in my studies and badminton career more than ever... if only i'll be given a chance to excel more, much better. lovelife has been unlucky to me so maybe my luck is in studies and career instead. :)

woohoo! long weekend... though i have few assignments... oh well. i'm still happy :) i am really having fun living in a boarding house... it's inside the campus and very accessible. it's not a problem to me anymore because i've learned to live like that since i was in Kalinga, no more worries. :) anyway, i am planning to buy a sun sim, free call and text kasi if sun to sun... but i'll not change my number, it will be just a spare. ;) info lang. hehe.

gawd! miss posting on my blog... haba tuloy ng entry ko ngayon. lol.

xx signed off at 1:39 AM

Friday, October 29, 2004

sick and tired

video marathon as usual... what a homebuddy right? nah, am just so tamad to leave the house and also am saving money for good. :) grabe i was thrilled by gothika, woah! scary! ;) anyway, i'm sick... i hate it. damn colds! and now i have a fever. tsk tsk. my friends thought it was because of johnson, hah! johnson syndrome? what the... well let's be fair, maybe. hehe. i must admit am still not over him, kahit sabihin ko na ok na ako and that i'm moving on... parang hindi kasi, i still can't forget him, there were times nga that i just cry and become sad pero good thing naoovercome ko naman. it just takes time you know. someday i know i'll wake up having no feelings for him anymore, and i guess mabibigay ko na sa kanya yung totoong forgiveness... nagtext nga siya kanina lang and he's still trying to bring me back and clear his name, pero kahit gusto kong maniwala dahil mahal ko pa siya... ayoko na eh. masyado nakong nasaktan and wala nakong tiwala sa kanya, hatred nalang ang nararamdaman ko. they say nga na follow your heart and don't let your mind rule you, basta something like that. pero you can't blame me, once na masaktan ka mahirap na magbakasakali and mag-try ulit eh... mahirap na magtiwala. well, if he's really the one for me fate will bring us back together, i'm not closing my doors naman. gawd! tama na nga ang drama...

i'm looking forward to what tomorrow brings, what happens next and what life would be... now that i'm single again and learned a lesson from that experience. it made me stronger and wiser... alam ko na ngayon kung paano talaga magmahal. hehe. but no really, i'm a changed person now. :)

i'll be fine, love sick lang siguro. haha. ok am out.

ciao.

xx signed off at 11:11 PM

Thursday, October 28, 2004

hummm...

i was in the house all day watching videos, woah 4 in a row! hehe. didn't feel like going out, also am under some medication rin... hate pimples. gawd! what a boring city life... i'd prefer living in a province now. life's simple but fun, friends everywhere, time's slow, fresh air, cold weather, healthy food and all. aww i miss lubuagan. really miss it. i'm not satisfied with that 10-day vacation, not ready for school yet. haaaay. registration starts this nov 3 na and classes this 9. gotta be really serious this time. oh my. i'll be living in a boarding house this semester, cool! hehe. away from parents, curfews and sermon... haha. pero gotta be more responsible, well of course. i'm really excited now though i have experienced away from home for 3-4 months already. well, this time's different, i'm just hoping this would be great. it's 2am now and still can't sleep, chattin with a friend who's same old as my ex... hate that age. too boring we exchanged pics, lol. dont care if he reads this, but his eyes are really nice, cute huh. i just appreciated some of his features, lucky him to have those right? oh anyway, i'm running out of sense here... my bad. guess he fell asleep na, while chattin with me huh... it's ok. i'll be out in a minute or so, gotta rest and catch some sleep.

ciao.

xx signed off at 2:03 AM

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

karla grasa! lol

random thoughts >> how'd you find the karla grasa ad? haha. really cool huh! some of my friends have been calling me karla grasa na... lol. joey ah...

enough of that. la lang, have nothing to do kaya eto online again, nangungulit lang. oh, i'll watch vcds nalang.

ciao.

xx signed off at 12:45 PM

i have survived

i'm back now in manila... single and happier, thankyouverymuch. some things have to change, have to let go, and better to be left behind. i loved him, i still love him... but breaking up with him is the best thing i know. i don't know if he really loved me,or if he really loves me, all i know is that he cheated on me. i've been asking myself what went wrong, i've been really patient for this to come, fought for the both of us, been proud for this relationship, accepted everything he is, and been really honest... but i lost. i know i still sound sad, affected and hurt. whatever i say or do i just can't hide what's really inside. really painful but i'm moving on.

i've learned a lot from this mistake, and i have become more mature enough to understand life. u know i still have a lot in life, a lot to be happy about. life goes on.

single again, and simply loving it. it's just a matter of acceptance, and happiness is just a state of mind. :)

xx signed off at 1:54 AM

Friday, October 08, 2004

exhausted

for all the revision of papers, application for graduation, enlistment, deadlines, upcoming exams, presentations and training what do you expect of me? be cool and stay calm?! well... why not? haha. i hate this life! when will these problems be over? i wanna get rid of these. oh please. argh! life oh life... problema na nga pinoproblema pa right?

instead of boggling about it, let's just party! woohoo! :) yea the meantime way to escape the kind of life i'm dealing now... whatever.

i may be busy these days but i'm still doin good... i enjoy every bit of pressure, stress and all. this will pay off. soon!

anyway, i submitted this template to blogskins... finally i decided to publish my work! haha. i've been making templates for some time... guess have to show it to people, for them to benefit as well. aaww, i'm so nice. haha. of all my creations i love this template most... i can relate to the distance thingy. you know. and it's pink! hehe.

i've been thinking about this lately... is this relationship really worth fighting for? kaya ko pa ba? what about the future... meron ba kaming future? did i made the right decision? omg. not this time, i have a lot of things to deal with... more important things. but i know i will never run out of these questions, dont wanna get hurt, dont wanna hurt him, dont wanna hurt anybody else. siguro marami lang talaga akong problema ngayon kaya pati yung samin dalawa nahalo... marami lang talaga akong iniisip. ginagawan ko lang siguro ng issue yung situation namin ngayon, which is not good. hindi dapat maapektuhan yung relationship namin lalo na ngayon.

i'll never let these problems ruin our relationship, never.

karla, be strong and have faith. face the world with your pretty smile and with a positive attitude. go girl.

xx signed off at 11:50 PM